The Dog Company: Newsletter

July 11, 2003 - Volume 48

Materials in this newsletter are the sole possession of the authors and Dog Company. Please do not copy or use in any fashion without written permission

A friend of ours sent in this story recently, and I thought it just had to be shared. Oh, the perils of eating things other than our dog food!

"Jasper and The Uncooked Yeast Rolls or The Case of the Pillsbury Dough Dog

We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this type of adoption, imagine taking in a 10 year old child whom you know nothing about and committing to doing your best to be a good parent. Like a child, the dog came with his own idiosyncrasies. He will only sleep on the bed, on top of the covers, nuzzled as close to my face as he can get without actually performing a French kiss on me. Lest you think this is a bad case of 'no discipline', I should tell you that Perry and I tried every means to break him of this habit including locking him in a separate bedroom for several! nights. The new door cost over $200. But I digress.

Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house. Although the cost of the project is downright obnoxious, it was 20 years overdue AND it got me out of cooking Thanksgiving for family, extended family and a lot of friends that I like more than family most of the time. I was however assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous yeast dinner rolls for the two Thanksgiving feasts we did attend. I am still cursing the electrician for getting the new oven hooked up so quickly. It was the only appliance in the whole darn house that worked, thus the assignment. I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wednesday evening to reheat on Thursday morning. Since the kitchen was freshly painted you can imagine the odor. Not wanting the rolls to smell like Sherwin Williams latex paint #586, I put the rolls on baking sheets and set them in the living room to rise for 5 hours. After 3 hours, Perry and I decided to go out to eat, returning in about an hour.

An hour later the rolls were ready to go in the oven. It was 8:30pm. When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans, much to my shock one whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called out to Jasper and my worst nightmare became a reality. He literally wobbled over to me. He looked like a combination of the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin Tire man wrapped up in fur. He groaned when he walked. I swear even his cheeks were bloated. I ran to the phone and called our vet. After a few seconds of uproarious laughter, he told me the dog would probably be OK, however, I needed to give him Pepto Bismol every two hours for the rest of the night. God only knows why I thought a dog would like Pepto Bismol any more than my kids did when they were sick. Suffice to say that by the time we went to bed, the dog was black, white and pink. He was so bloated we had to lift him onto the bed for the night.

Naively thinking the dog would be all better by morning was very stupid on my part. We arose at 7:30 and as we always do first thing, put the dogs out to relieve themselves. Well, the damn dog was as drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He was running into walls, falling flat on his butt and most of the time when he was walking, his front half was going one direction and the other half was either dragging the floor or headed 90 degrees in another direction. He couldn't lift his leg to pee, so he would just walk and pee at the same time. When he ran down the small incline in our back yard he couldn't stop himself and nearly ended up running into the fence. His pupils were dilated and he was as dizzy as a loon. I endured another few seconds of laughter from the vet (second call within 12 hours) before he explained that the yeast had fermented in his belly and that he was indeed drunk. He assured me that, not unlike most binges we humans go through, it would wear off after about 4 or 5 hours! and to keep giving him Pepto Bismol.

Afraid to leave him by himself in the house, Perry and I loaded him up and took him with us to my sister's house for the first Thanksgiving meal of the day. My sister lives outside of Muskogee on a ranch, (10 to 15 minute drive). Rolls firmly secured in the trunk (124 less 12) and drunk dog leaning from the back seat onto the console of the car between Perry and I, we took off. Now I know you probably don't believe that dogs burp, but believe me when I say that after eating a tray of risen unbaked yeast rolls, DOGS WILL BURP. These burps were pure Old Charter. They would have matched or beat any smell in a drunk tank at the police station. But that's not the worst of it. Now he was beginning to fart and they smelled like baked rolls. God strike me dead if I am not telling the truth! We endured this for the entire trip to Karee's, thankful she didn't live any further away than she did.

Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister's garage with the door locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our first Thanksgiving meal of the day. The dog was the topic of conversation all morning long and everyone made trips to the garage to witness my drunk dog, each returning with a tale of Jasper's latest endeavor to walk without running into something. Of course, as the old adage goes, "what goes in must come out" and Jasper was no exception. Granted if it had been me that had eaten 12 risen, unbaked yeast rolls, you might as well have put a concrete block up my behind, but alas, a dog's digestive system is quite different from yours or mine. I discovered this was a mixed blessing when we prepared to leave Karee's house. Having discovered his "packages" on the garage floor, we loaded him up in the car so we could hose down the floor. This was another naive decision on our part. The blast of water from the hose hit the poop on the floor and the poop on the floor withstood the blast from the hose. It was like Portland cement beginning to set up and cure. We finally tried to remove it with a shovel. I (obviously no one else was going to offer their services) had to get on my hands and knees with a coarse brush to get the remnants off of the floor. And as if this wasn't degrading enough, the damn dog in his drunken state had walked through the poop and left paw prints all over the garage floor that had to be brushed too.

Well, by this time the dog was sobering up nicely so we took him home and dropped him off before we left for our second Thanksgiving dinner at Perry's sister's house. I am happy to report that as of today (Monday) the dog is back to normal both in size and temperament. He has had a bath and is no longer tricolor. None the worse for wear I presume. I am also happy to report that just this evening I found two risen unbaked yeast rolls hidden inside my closet door. It appears he must have come to his senses after eating 10 of them but decided hiding two of them for later would not be a bad idea. Now, I'm doing research on the computer as to *How to clean unbaked dough from the Carpet*. And how was your day?"

woof.. "Sweep" ^..^~~!

We are interested in the download times of our publication, knowing that there are cable and telephone line connections. At its present size, how quickly does the Woof load for you and/or does it cause any problems? We would really appreciate responses from any and all of you, as we further refine the newsletter. mailto:peni@dogcompany.com

Skylar

(To our advertisers: we'd love to hear if your ad in the Woof was successful. Please drop us a line and let us know.)

Birthday Greetings: A belated, but very happy birthday to Sweep and Poutine who turned 10 on July 4th. These furfaces didn't get gifts, they gave - liver treats from Stacey at http://www.doodledogtreats.com/about.htm If you've not yet tried these, you need to get some soon. They're delicious. Woooooo woooo!

Birthday Greetings: An upcoming birthday for Mindy on July 18. The little terrorist will be turning 3!

Birth Announcements: Remember Skylar told us he was getting a new sister? Well, she's arriving in August and he's pretty excited about it. Her name is Terra and she is one sweet puppy.

Demonstration: Canadian Chaos and Strait Chuters will be putting on a Flyball and an Agility demo at Beaver Lake Park on July 20th, as entertainment for the CNIB. Look for us at the southern end of Beaver Lake around 11:00. Just listen for the sound of barking dogs!

Wanted: Looking for a female border collie or border collie X that wants to live on a ranch and be a mother. Sam, our male, would like to meet her. Call (250) 499 -5397 or mailto:threewind@img.net

Wanted: Your 'articles', your 'For Sales', your 'Want Ads', your birthday wishes, your letters to Mam'selle, your names, your ......... ???? By Wed. July 30 .... for the next Woof, please...... mailto:peni@dogcompany.com

(Disclaimer: Advertisements posted by the Woof are done as a service, not as an endorsement. Please communicate directly with the ad contact for further information on any items.)

Dear Mam'selle,
My partner and I used to have a lot of time on our own and had a routine we all liked .... Our parent was not home much during the fall, winter and spring, but then things changed and herein lies the problem. As well, our mom just got married and we now have another dog so now we are 3, and we have a new person in our life. We dogs do get along fine, just like the Three Amigos, but the rules we had are now changing and we were wondering if you could help us feel better about it and just give us some general info.

Three Amigos

Dear Three Amigos:
The summer is here and the folks and kids are home a lot more and when humans marry or have a new mate .. yes the rules usually change. Living with one human is very different as one usually shares a lot more and is more relaxed about the rules ... here are a few tips that might come in handy.

When your parents say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still one, two or more dogs in the way. You know they love you.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are your peoples and contain human food. Please note, placing a pawprint in the middle of their plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do they find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. Yes, they still love your doggie smiles, but are not impressed on these occasions.

The hallways in the house were not designed by NASCAR and are not a racetrack. Beating your parents to the kitchen is not the object. Tripping them doesn't help, because they fall faster than you can run. And don't leave toys in the hallway. I'm sure you have a toy box!!

Do not think they will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. There is nothing bigger than a king size bed. Your parents have now seen videos of dogs sleeping; they know that you can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. They also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

When your parent is trying to hit the ball with the tennis racket, having you jumping up and trying to grab the ball is not helpful. Barking at them does not help you achieve your goal ......... it does not win you any extra brownie points either.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. Some parents don't care, BUT........ IF YOU HAVE A PARENT THAT DOES .. AND, if by some miracle your parent beats you there and manages to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. They must exit through the same door they entered. In addition, your parents know what they are doing in there. They have been using bathrooms for years; unbelievable as it may seem, canine attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order that humans like to be kissed is ..... them first , then go smell other dogs. I cannot stress this enough. They actually think it would be a simple change for us to make.

Oh, and last , but not least......Compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

Have a great summer !!

Woof "Poutine" ^..^~~!

"Why does your dog turn around so many times before he lies down?"
"He's a watchdog, and he's winding himself up."

I got to do another Flyball demo. It seems Canada had a birthday, and we were invited to show the Sooke people at the birthday party how Flyball is played.

We started the day early, 'cause Sooke is a long, long way away. It would have been really long if we'd been in my car, but I got to ride in Peni's van with Sweep, so that made it okay. We met up with Bela and Sandra, Argus and Al, and the rest of the human people, Judy (who had Mindy with her), Susan, and Susan's mom, Leona, loaded all the rest of the gear into the van, and headed down to the flats. Bela, Mindy and I walked our people down while the rest drove.

We got to look around a little and then were plunked into our kennels while the humans set things up. That seemed to take forever, and there was a lot of talking going on. We furfaces just curled up and watched. Finally the human people seemed satisfied, and let us out so we could try the runs. Looked and felt okay to us. Another team had come to run with us and they were trying it too. I'd met some of them before but just in case they didn't remember me, I ran over and introduced myself to Vista, their little dog, and told her that I was a big tough dog and she better not mess with me - just trying to scare the competition a little. Mom wasn't terribly pleased.

After we tested out the runs, it was hurry up and wait. We spent our time in our kennels, or lying on the grass beside our people, or going for a walk to check the pmail.

I had a real neat surprise. My Uncle Bill came to watch us; he'd never seen me run Flyball before, so I really wanted to do well to show him. I think he was quite impressed, but for some reason he kept laughing. The time finally came and we got to race. Nobody really kept score, but I guess the other guys beat us most times, because we did sort of goof up a bit. Even Sweep, my heroine, who is almost perfect, dropped the ball once - you should have seen the look on her face!! Argus did his Argus thing - he played around a bit at the box, and a couple of times Al had to run and get him. Bela was almost as good as Sweep, except when she spotted some food on the course and kind of detoured to get that. Me? Well, they don't call me athlete with attitude for nothing - each time I ran back towards Mom, I told Argus he was supposed to go (just in case he didn't know) and once I saw that Bela had gone over toward some people sitting on the ground, so I went over there too, just in case they had something interesting.

We got to do this demo stuff twice, and the second time, we managed to do a little bit better. I think we might even have beaten the other team a couple of times. When we finished our last run, everything got packed up and we left. We didn't go right home though, because our people wanted supper; we just slept in the vehicles while they ate. Eventually, we got home, and I told Dad and Cleo all about it, had my whipped cream, and then it was time to call it a day - I was dog tired.

Mom took some pictures, and so did Judy, and while we were running, Uncle Bill took some too. If you click here, you can see how the Sooke July 1st demo and birthday party for Canada looked.

HRH Trouble (athlete with attitude)

The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.
............. Michael Freidman

Summer Solstice

"Passenger Arrested After Assaulting CBP Canine"

On June 18, 2003, SAC/Washington, DC agents arrested James MCDANIEL after he kicked a CBP canine after arriving at Dulles International Airport from Mexico City, Mexico. MCDANIEL was waiting for his luggage at a baggage carousel when a CBP inspector approached with a canine and MCDANIEL appeared to kick the canine. The CBP inspector advised that the dog was working and questioned MCDANIEL concerning his actions. MCDANIEL admitted that he kicked the dog and stated that he would do it again. SAC/Washington, DC ICE agents were called to the scene and placed MCDANIEL under arrest after approval from the United States Attorney's Office. The USA will prosecute.
(Thanks to Gerry M in California for this)

In the News: Summer Solstice Celebrations

Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year, is really celebrated here in the Yukon. So, this year, on June 21, we opted to take the dogs on a hike with a group of people up Montana Mountain, near the end of the Chilkoot trail. We met in Carcross at 8:30 pm, then piled four adults and five dogs into a Ford Explorer, and took a very rough road up to the alpine meadows, accompanied by six other trucks full of people and dogs. Twenty-three of us and six dogs hiked way up the mountain to visit five 100-year old abandoned mine sites. It was amazing to see the machinery and structures that were hauled up to that altitude, then abandoned when the mines shut down. In total, there are 17 abandoned mines scattered around the top of Montana Mountain. At midnight, it was still light out, so we explored the mountain until the sun turned into a glowing pink streak behind the clouds in the north. We headed down the mountain in the dusky sunset at 1:00am. By the end of the three hour hike, the dogs and the humans were happy and tired. As I pulled into my driveway at 3:00am, it was really getting light out again.

Here is a shot of my dogs, Uther and Merlyn, and my friends' dogs, Tito, Cocoa, and Pouquette, in the back of the truck after the bumpy ride down the mountain. I've also included a shot taken about an hour before midnight high up on the mountain.

Woof woof from Whitehorse (Susie, Uther, and Merlyn

GRRR ... Wuff! Yep, it's time to pop the popcorn ( I like mine with a bit of butter and a big bowl of water.) (These are all available at the video store)

Adult Movie.....
THE HARVEST MOON: (Chick Flick) After 25 years, a woman goes back to the place she had her first summer job and met her first love.

THE ENFORCER: Clint Eastwood ... now you can't go wrong with this baby for action adventure..

FAMILY MOVIE .....
ADVENTURES OF MILO & OTIS: A cat and dog friends have a great adventure when they are lost far from home. 76 mins ..... some of them will have you on the edge of your seat.

Geeesh.......... I can smell the popcorn now! REMEMBER TO LICK UP ALL THE CRUMBS OFF THE FLOOR!

We all know dogs are sneaky and always trying to find out what we cats are up. For years, we wondered how they knew some of our secrets. Well, we've finally located one of their spies.

He doesn't know it yet, but he's gonna find out the hard way that cats are supreme. This trio of feline detectives have him pegged and he's completely oblivious to the fact that they are on to him.

Cleocatra

Geez. A muzzle. Bummer. (Meredith R)
My Dad keeps telling me that it's the newest surgery-free canine facelift device. (Meredith R)
No, no, I think it looks quite nice! Does it come in green? (Meredith R)

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