The Dog Company: Newsletter

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Volume 39 - March 7, 2003

Materials in this newsletter are the sole possession of the authors and Dog Company. Please do not copy or use in any fashion without written permission

Authorities won't prosecute Harvey, the Bulldog, for speeding, reckless driving or car theft, but if he's ever caught driving again, he'll have a lot of explaining to do.

Yesterday, The Sun reported that the three-year-old dog was responsible for sending Johnny Vaughan's £60,000 sports car (worth about $100,000 US) careening into a parked van.

(Left: Johnny's car before Harvey drove (Photo: The Sun)

According to Mr. Vaughan, host of BBC's talk show, Johnny Vaughan Tonight, the portly pooch had been riding with him in his Maserati 3200GT coming home from the veterinarian in southwest London.

Mr. Vaughan describes, "I stopped because Harvey, who was in the front and had a sore tummy, looked like he needed the toilet."

(Left:This pooch bumped the Maserati 3200GT into drive and floored it into a parked van.)

"I thought the light was green. What do you expect? I'm colorblind!" (says Harvey)

The damage was around £11,000 ($17,600 US), which the 36-year-old television star had to pay for himself, since the insurance company did not have Harvey listed as a driver.

Says Mr. Vaughan, "They just fell about laughing and refused to pay out."

Geesh..........go figure ......this dog owner should put his dog on the insurance; after all, I've seen some real animals out there driving.

Woof..."Sweep"
(Thanks to my friends at Dogs in the News,UK, for this story)

Announcement:
The newest section of the Woof will be called the "The Purrrrrr" featuring stories and all kinds of things about and from the feline point of view. The highly sought after "Cleocatra" has agreed to be our in house reporter. She welcomes all stories and pictures.

(To our advertisers: we'd love to hear if your ad in the Woof was successful. Please drop us a line and let us know.)

Wanted: It's me, Koah, again. I have a new home but still need a new apartment. I fit into a 350 crate - I guess I'm not as big as I thought! My mom is selling her smaller, 250 crate, for $40.00 if anyone needs one. Her e-mail is bpopel@shaw.ca
Thanks, Koah

Wanted: Looking for a fulltime boyfriend/girlfriend (either way is fine for me) but I do need you to have dog experience, especially with German Shepards. I have potential but need a handler who knows my breed and needs!

My name is Kona and I'm a one year old, spayed female. Yes, you know it....I'm hyper and not confident, but once I'm being handled properly (by an experienced handler whom I trust and respect) I'm a dream and very willing to please. My owners now are lovely people and they adore me but they are first time dog owners and I am NOT the dog for them. I need consistent structure in my life and a handler who is fair and firm; one who can give me a lot of time and opportunities to use my brain...ie dog sports and experiences that will help to build my confidence, etc. Most of the time I feel overwhelmed by anything new; I also have some separation anxiety when I don't have time with the male in my life.

I have gone through basic obedience and am very capable following all commands and do them well - when I feel like it! ..... Yes, right again; I really can be very pushy and know just what buttons to push so I can get to be in charge. Once I take charge.........."IT IS NOT A GOOD THING"!

Please contact Peni woof@dogcompany.com or 656-1659

Wanted: Island Boy looking for home!

I'm LabX ... from my picture you can tell I'm a looker too! I live on Mayne Island right now but I'm searching for a home where there won't be the pressure of children. I find the responsibility of the little people just too much. Don't get me wrong, kids are O.K. but I prefer not having them share my space. I get an urge to show them who's boss and it's not what I should do. I really could use an owner who is experienced with handling dogs. I love dog sports or any activities where I can spend a lot of time with you, and other dogs. I do love to play and I am very smart, but I need someone who is going to be a fair, and competent, consistent handler!

Please contact Peni woof@dogcompany.com or 656-1659

Wanted: Your 'articles', your 'For Sales', your 'Want Ads', your birthday wishes, your letters to Mam'selle, your names, your ......... ????? By Wed. March 19 .... for the next Woof, please...... peni@dogcompany.com

(Disclaimer: Advertisements posted by the Woof are done as a service, not as an endorsement. Please communicate directly with the ad contact for further information on any items.)

Dear Mam'selle,
I'm having trouble with my fingernails. Everyone says they're too long and they scratch people. When I have them trimmed, they don't seem to get that much shorter. What can I do?
Dainty Dalmatian

Dear Dainty:
Well, it sounds like you need to go to the professionals! Dog Grooming is not for just baths /cuts and blow dry's. A groomer can cut your nails so they are just perfect for your life style. Those of us in dog sports like Agility have our nails short so we are not sliding on the equipment or tearing up tunnels and chutes. Have your human take you into the groomers for "the works" head to tail, tip to toe" at least every two months. I go and I just love all the attention and I smell and look ever so good and feel fantastic!
Woof......."Putting on the Ritz" Poutine ^..^~~!

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with a tiny ladder hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The boy is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look.

"That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration.

"Thanks," says the little boy. As the fire fighter looks a little closer, he notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

"Little partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little boy says, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

(Wooooo ..........thanks to Mindy, the Australian terrier, for this!)

Okay, it's now a proven fact. There is conclusive evidence - it cannot be denied. The naysayers have lost - it's irrefutable; it's undeniably true - human people are crazy. They made a movie called "The Gods Must be Crazy", but it could just as easily have been titled, "Dog Owner Human People Must Be Crazy". What, you may well ask, has led to my being able to state this as a fact which cannot be denied? Let me tell you about it.

Think back to Sunday, March 2, 2003. In Victoria, we have been blessed with less than winter like weather, but we are subject to systems blowing in from the Pacific. And so it was on Sunday. The day started moderately fair. My teammates and I were able to have our flyball practice outside with no problem. We practiced, then were loaded into our respective vehicles to go home or as I did, wait for awhile. I had to wait while Mom went for coffee, and then got to visit Grandma for a bit. Then it was back into the car to return to the park. Those parts of the car that go back and forth on the clear stuff that Mom looks through were moving, but we went anyway. When we got there, we helped to put the agility equipment out; Helen's Mom kept saying these words, "It's not raining." I don't know what that means; I was too busy shaking water out of my eyes to really give it much attention.

So anyway, some of the equipment got set up and we practiced. I noticed that even the human people kept shaking themselves - their fur was getting wet too. But Helen's Mom kept right on saying, "It's not raining." I really can't figure that out; Helen didn't seem to do anything, so it couldn't have been a command for her.

We practiced for quite awhile and I know I was getting pretty wet; Finnegan disappeared once - I think his Mom took him and dried him off. With his size, wet means extra weight!

Finally, after awhile, all the human people seemed to decide that maybe they weren't really having fun.. we could have told them that an hour earlier! and they decided to quit. We all headed for the vehicles, and got in; they had to stay out there and put everything away - so who's smart? I didn't hear Helen's Mom when they were doing thisŠ was she still saying, "It's not raining" ?? I've got news for herŠ.. that water coming out of the sky above us? That's rain !!!

So as I said to start with, human people are crazy - no one else would be out there, playing in the rain. I think the nine furfaces who were out there with their people deserve medals!

HRH Trouble (athlete with attitude)

No matter how bad a cook you are, your dog thinks you are a culinary genius.
Unknown

Doggy disco divas hit the dance floor in a northwestern Italian village on Feb. 16. Organizer Karina Trangeled, who jives with her Border Collie, Chance, says German Shepards and Dachshunds are the Fred Astaires of the canine world and pick up steps most quickly.

GRRR ... Wuff! Yep, it's time to pop the popcorn ( I like mine with a bit of butter and a big bowl of water.)
(These are all available at the video store)

Family Flicks........
"Dinotopia" ..........Boy, those puppies were BIG !
"ParentHood"........Makes a guy glad he's not human!

Adult Movies..............
Dream Team........Great story with lots of laughs
The Glass Web.....Old black/white...mystery..1953 (Mom loves these oldies)

Geeesh.......... I can smell the popcorn now! REMEMBER TO LICK UP ALL THE CRUMBS OFF THE FLOOR!

Wuuffffff .......Slick

Thanks to overwhelming demand, I'm getting to keep my column! (Mikey... we're in! I'll run your stock market story next issue!) Did you readers know that I'd been hanging on by a claw? Those dogs weren't happy that I was getting some space! Keep those letters and contributions coming - it worked! Today's story is courtesty of Deena.

A cat owner is from Oklahoma and has a slight accent. When she lived in the south, she would take her cats to the groomers and have what is called a Line Cut. To her, a line cut was when all of the fur hanging down below the cat's tummy is taken off (because it gets matted or snarled). When she moved to Chicago, one of the cat's fur got all tangled up during the move so she took it in for a line cut. She was quite surprised when she heard the price as it was twice as much as it was down south. She confirmed with the groomer that he understood what a line cut was and he said, "Yes, I know what a LION cut is." It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and this is how her cat was returned to her. She cried for a week... But not as much as the cat. It was November in Chicago and the cat needed all the fur it had.

Gas in car to go to groomers..... $ 4.50 Cat car carrier...... $32.99 Grooming fee.....$80.00 The look of one seriously pissed off cat.... Priceless!

My sympathies to this poor feline; the groomer must have been a secret dog lover! I'm happy to report that the "Lion King" is back to normal now.

Cleocatra (Cats rule... dogs drool!)
P.S. Mikey.... we'll get back at them for that fire engine story!

Last issue's picture and the captions are:

"Gosh, I think that boat ride was a little much! Hiccup!" (Wendy B)
"Okay, so how are gravity and gravy different? " (Jan S)
"Pleeeze . . .how much longer do I have to hold this STAY?" (Meredith R)

And the new picture ... Captions please!

Mail them to peni@dogcompany.com

This story was received by our computer and read out loud to me and my girl friend, Jordyn. It touched my canine heart and made my mom and girl cry. I could feel the emotion of it and needed to share it with you. There is a "Dog Note" at the end that will explain a lot but you need to read the story first!

This will either make you cry, give you cold chills or leave you cold, but it puts life into perspective!

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the school's students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question. "Everything God does is done with perfection. Yet, my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is God's plan reflected in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. "I believe," the father answered, "that when God brings a child like Shay into the world, an opportunity to realize the Divine Plan presents itself and it comes in the way people treat that child." Then, he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they will let me play?" Shay's father knew that most boys would not want him on their team. But the father understood that if his son were allowed to play it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We are losing by six runs, and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning."

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. At the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield. Although no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base. Shay was scheduled to be the next at bat. Would the team actually let Shay bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have ended the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman.

Everyone started yelling, "Shay, run to first, run to first." Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" By the time Shay was rounding first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman for a tag. But the right fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions had been, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman's head. Shay ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay! run home!"

Shay ran home, stepped on home plate and was cheered as the hero for hitting a "grand slam" and winning the game for his team.

"That day," said the father softly, with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of the Divine Plan into this world."

And now, the "Paw Note" to the story.

I am a black Lab, Border Collie X dog. My name is Carlos. I am a working dog for a very special little girl person who sent this to you for me. She believes that we can all make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities to make choices. I know that I am motivated to make the right choices for her, and it breaks my canine heart when I have to sit by and watch when mean things are said to my girl.

It's hard to be a dog - we know when things are not right but what can we do? No jumping up, no biting, no way of making it stop or go away is acceptable for me to do. Words and actions can hurt or heal even humans.

Many times I am glad that I am a dog, and I know my path is clear; in most situations, I know what to do. At night when we are alone, my special needs girl tells me all her feelings and secrets; I alone know what she really feels and the only thing I can do is listen, love her and be there for her.

Sometimes I do feel very frustrated too. We have a very bonded pack in this family of humans and dogs. We have a lot of grandchildren, cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents in our immediate family. Oh, yes, there are cats too - "Grace" and "Seven." My Grand dogs are "Sweep," "Poutine," "Slick" and "Jiggs," and there's my cousin dog, "Chase." They helped in teaching and training me for the job I have had for the past two years. I have signed on for life so that is what I do daily for the Divine Plan..... What opportunities are you going to grasp today for someone you know? Or maybe it will be to teach someone else about the plan like someone must have done to some of the boys on that ball team.

Wuuuuuf......Carlos (B.B.) Black & Beautiful - web site http://www.clik.to/Jordyn

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